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Trying to Make Everyone Else Happy is a Waste of Life

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I still have voices in my head from bullies of the past. I still have voices in my head from people I cared about, who said something that hurt me. It may feel like that stuff tattoos itself onto our souls and becomes something we can't shake.⁣

Every time we go to take a big step, we hear those voices, and worry about what others may think or say. A dozen critical comments start to float above the sea of encouraging words, and we think everyone else notices them too. ⁣

Even though we know this deep down, it doesn't stop those unpleasant words from holding hands with those bullies that live inside of our heads. Even with all the amazing successes and experiences I have, those voices still have a seat at the table in my brain.⁣

I come up with dope ideas and then quickly talk myself out of them in fear of offending someone, or being judged by the same people who have always judged me. Slowly but surely I still move ahead, and rarely do those fears come to light; when they do, I can handle them. ⁣

Making other people happy is a waste of life because other people can't find happiness anywhere else but within themselves. Trying to find happiness by getting validated by others is temporary at best. Kanye West asked me for a picture once, but thinking about that now doesn't kill my insecurities, and I'm not going to chase the next thing to feel (temporarily) good about myself again. Instead, I'll realize the only happiness I can give is the happiness I create, and that doesn't come from living up to the expectations of others. ⁣

Anyone who judges us is proving that their approval doesn't matter. I know for many of you, that's your parents, but in those cases, you have to open up some dialogue. I did, and things have gotten much better because of it.⁣

Keep yourself happy and share that happiness, it's much more sustainable than living for others. They won't die with you, don't let them live for you. #BLESS

If you made it this far, leave a 🕺🏻 with your comment so I know you're a real one.
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2 comments

  • It’s taken this current climate and me at 51 to resonate with above. For me this space from extended family, me being unwell has finally slowed my bullet train mind to stop….I may of discovered myself. I was always the rebel, b….. sheep of the family, left to return but felt I always needed to fit in. I wrote some poetry in my days of illness and it was personal. Damm I could write even when I was officially diagnosed with a traumatc brain injury, Anosmia …. I wasn’t thick or stupid I just couldn’t express until now. Listening to you I just feel you’ve helped me connect with myself .. thank you and please let me know when you do come to London

    VMB
  • It’s taken this current climate and me at 51 to resonate with above. For me this space from extended family, me being unwell has finally slowed my bullet train mind to stop….I may of discovered myself. I was always the rebel, b….. sheep of the family, left to return but felt I always needed to fit in. I wrote some poetry in my days of illness and it was personal. Damm I could write even when I was officially diagnosed with a traumatc brain injury, Anosmia …. I wasn’t thick or stupid I just couldn’t express until now. Listening to you I just feel you’ve helped me connect with myself .. thank you and please let me know when you do come to London

    Vina Baxter

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