I see all this pain as injuries, like a broken arm or foot, and the only real thing that helps with the healing process is time.
We don't get to decide how long it takes to heal, we just have to honour the process, and I know that's easier said than done, and it sucks. I know the feeling, the heartache, the anxiety, negotiating with God, the universe, anyone to just make it go away. We'll do anything for a distraction, to sedate the pain, even consider ending it all, just so we don't have to feel.
Sometimes sitting with it is best, othertimes getting lost in a book is a better idea, or watching dumb Netflix comedies, or having your real friends over for some great company. The pain creeps back, it never disappears, it comes in waves and hits you at the worst times.
Time helps, and we have to trust that it does. That trust isn't simply believing, it's also not making poor decisions that will make things worse, then wondering why we're not feeling better. Get more sleep, reduce salt, sugar, sitting, self-pity, and social media. Turning to substances can make things feel good in the short term, but will make things worse in the long term, try healthier alternatives.
I sit in tubs of ice, take cold showers, do pushups and pullups until I can't feel my arms; none of this makes it permanent, but it helps me deal with the waves of my own pain, as time does it's magic.
Most importantly, I breathe, 3 seconds in, 7 seconds out, slowly and deliberately. Do that 10 times and see how you feel.
Lastly, help others, if you can't help yourself right now, be a vehicle to make someone else have a better day. There's little resistance in life when we want to help others.
I hope you get through what you're getting through, and know there will be more to get through later, the more
If you made it this far, text me 917-636-4159 and tag someone who needs to read this.