Speaking with a friend about a big career milestone they just hit, and how their parents reaction to the great news was less than enthusiastic.
"I thought they would be happy for me, but they just kept finding things to criticize"
When I first showed my parents my new place, my father criticized how narrow one of the hallways was, and how that made it a waste of space. that doesn't make my dad a jerk, it makes my dad a dad.
We put so much value in our parents approval, realizing how little gaining their approval even sustains us. We win awards, prove haters wrong, impress the cool kids, but life keeps going on, and we find new chips on our shoulders, and more outside validation to chase.
It's a never ending cycle until we recognize the cycle.
it's not about making our parents or anyone else happy, before allowing oursleves to be happy. It's about reminding ourselves that happiness, ours, our parents, the internets, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences, is always an inside job. Our parents happiness is our parents responsibility, our happiness is our responsibility, and trying to outsource that through validation won't be much happiness to anyone.
Caring what other people think is normal, there's nothing wrong with you for caring, but realize there won't be a moment where everyones happy with you and the anxiety and pressure will all melt away, so it's better to abandon the game, than keep playing, thinking you can win.
Also our parents Werner given the tools to love us like Danny Tanner, so let’s cut them some slack.
The coolest people we know are the ones that seem to care the least about the opinions of others, and show the most comfort in their own skin. Let's focus on making ourselves happy, realizing that we don't have the power to do it for anyone else.
Bless @cthagod for this one.. tag someone who needs to see this.. and text me for daily voice notes in my sexy mumbly voice 917-636-4159 #LOVE #unlearn