How to Find Strength in Vulnerability
Oct 23, 2018
After my umpteenth heartbreak, I devoted myself to a life of self-sustainability. When we’re in relationships we can become co-dependent, and when those relationships end, it feels like we have to learn how to put ourself first again. There’s no one to talk about your day to, no one you have to run important life decisions by, no one to take into consideration anymore. At first this is the loneliest shit ever, but eventually you get the hang of it, and you see the benefits of it. For me, it got to the point where I cringed at the idea of getting close to anyone. I justified this by saying I was a free spirit, and had better things to do with my time than invest it in a person, who would eventually leave me (like so many did it in the past). The reality was I was masking my fear of having my heart broken again, and as strong and as independent as I wanted to project myself, I was really just sick of heartbreak, and found comfort putting myself first and avoiding any opportunities to be vulnerable. This didn’t mean I was alone, it just meant I kept the people around me at arms length and took them for granted. This works very well in the short term, and when you’re beard is as sexy as mine, when one got sick of me and left, someone else wasn’t too hard to find. This isn’t a sustainable way of living, and many of us live a version of this sheltered life to protect ourselves from whatever past traumas we don’t ever want to feel again. It wasn’t until I saw @lindseystirling’s documentary titled BRAVE ENOUGH, did I realize that real strength wasn’t the shell I created for myself, but rather, it was stronger to be vulnerable. If you have people in your life that give a shit about you, realize that’s priceless, and it’s worth giving your time, love, energy, and attention back. I ask you spend a little more time showing gratitude and appreciation to those you care about, and those who care about you. Now I understand that heartbreaks aren’t to be considered loses that we need to avoided, they’re an important experience. I’ll survive 20 more, the only time I lose is if I close myself off to others. Find strength in your vulnerability.