Don't Let Them Guilt You
Aug 05, 2019
Guilt is a weapon, as is shame, and we're all covered in layers of it from our experiences in life. All of us, including me, have used guilt as a weapon in one form or another to get people to do what we want them to do; it's a toxic approach and we're better off taking it off our tool belt. Other people are going to guilt us, because they don't know a better way to communicate their fears. People have guilted me for missing their weddings when I had to work, or for saying NO to a favour, because I was already at capacity, or because I wasn't using my platform to push ideas they wanted out there. Guilting can chip away at all of us, and we'll give in, just so we don't have to deal with their shit anymore. The reality is, if someone got their way with guilt & shame, then they'll use guilt & shame to try to get their way with you again. I suggest you add a little more posture to your spine, and call them out for doing it, and let them know it's not cool, nor will it influence you to be something you're not. This can also result in you not having to deal with their shit anymore, because either they'll smarten up, and find better ways, or move on to someone else they can push around. I know the pressure is hard, and I've felt it too, but you're harder, and standing up for yourselves and others can turn the tides. Also, let's recognize the cycle of guilt & shame as a weapon, and not pass it down to future generations, that shit is toxic, and there are more sustainable ways to communicate. #BLESS